I like control.
And I think arrogant cheating men are the devil.
Its why I cofounded Dirty Exes PI, to pin down scoundrels with the tip of my stiletto heel.
My names Isla and I have a confession to make.
I think football players are sexy.
This poses a problem since enemy number one just happens to want to take down my entire company with his massive quarterback hands. Did I mention he has massive hands already? Stupid, who likes big hands anyways? Not this girl!
He wants to destroy me.
I want to end him.
I never lose.
Besides, I’ve come up with a fool proof plan, I’m a woman on a mission, a woman who likes order, and lists, so I’ve conjured up a list of ten reasons Jessie Beckett is the absolute worse (I may have been drinking wine, but it was the only way to power through).
10. His eyes crinkle when he smiles. I hate it. It’s distracting and I think he does it on purpose just to appear friendly to the elderly. He’s satan in sheep’s clothing.
9. He has too many abs. I know it seems an unusual thing to be upset about, but there’s just too much muscle? It’s…disgusting. When he’s shirtless I look away and I pray. You know, for his digestive system, there’s only one way you get that much muscle, protein shakes, gross.
8. He helps orphaned children. I think it’s a ploy for attention, there’s no way it’s genuine.
7. He’s too competitive, which means you always have to have your A game.
6. His kisses are too passionate (trust me I hate that I even know) it’s like you’re the sole focus of his entire world which would be fine if you weren’t getting kissed on camera in front of hundreds of thousands of Patriots fans!
5. He’s arrogant. So. Arrogant. The guy doesn’t even need words, he just gives off this smug look and sea’s of people part or just pass out completely.
4. His megawatt smile makes my face hurt. No botox in that forehead, it’s all huge and ready for the next picture op.
3. He’s secretive. Which makes him sketchy, he doesn’t want people prying and he thinks I’m the biggest one of them all!
2. His pantry is pathetic, no color, nothing exciting, or fun, and his cereal is all, well dont get me started on his cereal. I actually took care of this point, but it still makes my eye twitch.
1. He had the best fake proposal I will probably hear. Ever. Which just makes him the ultimate bad guy, who does that to a girls heart? When she knows full well it’s not real? He’s a horrible, horrible human being and I can’t wait for everyone to see what I’m talking about when they read Dangerous Exes!
About the Author
Rachel Van Dyken is a Wall Street Journal, USA Today, and #1 New York Times bestselling author known for regency romances, contemporary romances, and her love of coffee and Swedish fish. Rachel’s also recently inked a deal for her Wingmen Inc. series—The Matchmaker’s Playbook and The Matchmaker’s Replacement—to be made into movies.
A fan of The Bachelor and the Seattle Seahawks (not necessarily in that order), Rachel lives in Idaho with her husband, a super cute toddler son who keeps her on her toes, and two boxers. Make sure you check out her site, www.RachelVanDykenauthor.com, and follow her on Twitter (@RachVD).
